Arguments

What is an area of life in which you have experienced people treating arguments as a kind of war? What were the consequences of that approach? What is an area of life in which you have experienced people treating arguments as a kind of performance? Was that approach effective? Why is it better to treat arguments as a venue for learning? What traits of character does it require to be able to live according to that approach? What benefits can it have in our lives to take that approach? (please give a specific example)